I have much more to say on this topic later, but just wanted to pass along the basics: Last Friday afternoon, I ended up in the hospital after I felt like I was going to pass out, my heart started beating out of my chest, and my hands and tongue went numb. They ran many tests, but the doc came up with nothing conclusive. My heart looked good, they said.
So I came to my own conclusion (after "tests" of my own on Google): I had a panic attack. Otherwise known as an anxiety attack.
I'd never had one before, and I hope and pray I don't have one again. They're truly no fun. Anyone who has ever had one will say the same thing: You feel like you're not long for this earth.
But since that scary experience, I've felt a lot better -- in part, I think, to not dwelling on it. Panic attacks are a product of stress, so my course of action against another one is to not become as stressed out. (Easier said than done, I know!)
I'm going in for a follow-up test with a cardiologist tomorrow, but I'm confident that my diagnosis is correct. Anxiety -- which had built up slowly over time, aided by such life changes as the end of the weekly column that I loved -- eventually attacked me.
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6 comments:
Darla, I hope you are feeling better. I'm thinking you're right about the panic attack. Darn! we try to be the perfect everything and then we fall apart. Try to concentrate on what matters and let everything else go. I know... easier said then done but please try!
How scary for you! Good luck with your visit to the cardiologist. It does sound like a panic attack, as I have had them myself. It made me look at what was going on with my life and how to deal with it in a better way. I joined an all women's gym. We excercised but we became one another's sounding board and support. It helped a lot.
Diane
Hi Jodine and Diane,
Thanks so much for the thoughtful words. The other night, my head started getting all jittery (hard to explain), so I broke down and bought this self-help book about anxiety/panic attacks online for $100. (My husband then had a panic attack. Ha! Not really.)
But I have to say that it really helped! It put things into perspective and made me look at these symptoms in a whole different way. (More on that soon!) I haven't had the jittery-head thing since.
I'm actually looking forward to the cardiologist visit (although I could eat those words later), because I've always wanted to know if I had anything to worry about with the old heart. Sometimes when I'm working out, pushing myself to the limit, I fear I might just collapse right then and there. It would be nice to know that this probably won't happen. :) Or, on the other hand, it would even be nice to know that it's possible. Just knowing is nice!
Anyway, thanks again for your notes!!! :)
Have a great day,
Darla
Dear Darla,
The only thing I worried about missing when the Journal ended was my weekly visit with you. I love the way you "visit" just like a visit I would have with a friend or relative. I very much enjoy being able to keep in touch via your blog. It is the first blog I have ever gone to. Please do not see this as pressure to perform more in your busy life. You are a very special person and your first priority is to be good to yourself. Take it from another one who tries too hard to keep all life's "duckies" in line. recalcitrant. Your real-life family is very fortunate to have you! Thank you so much for sharing your humanity with us. Anne
Ooops, I should have proof read that comment. Anyway, you have my best wishes.
Anne
Dear Anne,
You are so sweet! Thank you for making my day with your comment. :)
I've actually been feeling a lot better this week, in part because I'm changing my routine and the stress I put on myself. One example: I used to put exclamation points in my agenda book next to things that were urgent: "Email so-and-so to set up interview!!" I've now decided to stop yelling at myself and just write out all to-do's in a calm tone. :) It sounds silly, but I think little things like that help! Plus, I'm working out again, which is always a good stress-reliever.
Thanks again for your lovely comment! I'm so happy you're visiting my blog!
Cheers,
Darla
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